Okay, is it me, or does the phrase "let's be friends" actually have some validity?
I bring this up, because I feel like sometimes there are guys that i'm honestly not interested in, and times when I just don't want to date anyone, and I notice that I guy is getting to serious, so I will throw out the "friend" card.
Take Brett for instance...
I met Brett about a month ago through a coworker. It had been a couple weeks since I had broken up with my long-term boyfriend, and I was a mess. So she took pity on me and invited me to come meet some of her guy friends, and see if maybe I could hit it off with one of them.
I met Brett after showing up in my cute new swimsuit, and also having shown off how incompetent I was on a wakeboard. I sat in the back of the boat while he sat in the front, but I caught his attention when I told one of the guys where I had served my mission, and he yelled out to Brett that I served in the same country as him. So Brett and I started talking, and we had a lot in common with our missions. We served in different missions, but knew a lot of the same people, and of course, the same languages. I had a lot of fun talking to him, and when I asked him what he was doing for the fourth. After we discovered that neither of us had plans, he asked me out to a MLS game. I was happy to go out with him, because at this point I had only dated one other guy since breaking up with my ex, and I wasn't interested in the him.
We went to the MLS game and out to dinner, and even though it started off kind of slow, we ended the night talking for hours at my house. I was really impressed by him, and all he had accomplished with his life and on the mission. So even though both Brett and I didn't feel like we had a ton in common, we both wanted to try out dating a little more. After a few more dates, we ended up going to another MLS game with his best friend (who also happened to be the ex boyfriend of said coworker). I wasn't impressed by his friend. Honestly, I feel like you can really tell what kind of person someone is by the kind of people they hang around. His friend seemed like he was trying to show off, and Brett was doing the same in return for his friend...with me. I know that we had been going out quite a bit, but I honestly hate feeling pressure to hold hands or kiss or anything like that. And Brett was hanging all over me and touching me, and I was soooo incredibly uncomfortable.
Then yesterday, he texted me to go out again, but I was in two words: freaked. out. I didn't want to go any farther. I had just broken the heart of a man I loved, and it hurt. It was such a bad breakup, that I don't feel like I can trust a man right now, even though it has been a month and a half.
Here's what went down between me and brett:
Brett: "So are you busy all week? No date this week? :("
Me: "Yeah, I have to be honest with you too...i'm still really freaked out about my last relationship and i'm only dating around right now for fun. I'm not going to lead you on when i'm not capable of anything right now."
Brett: "I'm not searching for anything serious either but if you're not interested in dating anymore that's fine"
Me: "I really don't know if I could keep dating. I am still healing from things and it's hard for me to date anyone at all right now, serious or not. I'm sorry, this all probably sounds real lame but i'm just trying to be honest with myself that i'm not ready. I really did have fun with you, and I would love to be your friend when you move up here :)"
...and that was the last I heard from Brett. I would hope that he would've understood that I wasn't trying to "play the friend card" but that I am honestly not ready to date. I realized that with him I would start to panic and overthink. I don't want to fall into dating someone again when I emotionally cannot handle it right now. If he had been patient and tried to stick around, then maybe it would have been possible, but now i'm thinking that if someone isn't willing to be patient, then it just isn't right.
Breakups are hard, and especially this last one I went through. My ex has been trying to use the "let's me friends" card, but he doesn't mean it. He's told people that it's his new plan to "be my friend" in order to try and win me back. Honestly, I don't want to be friends with people who have a hidden agenda and are trying to get something out of me. Is it too much for a girl to just need a friend? I don't need another boyfriend right now, and I feel like that's all guys want from me. So if any of you out there reading this are guys, here's a lesson for you: when a girl says "let's be friends"...maybe sometimes she really means it, and needs it.
Lady Momo
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
In the beginning....
So, I really want to get to the good and juicy stuff, but I feel like I should give a synopsis of my wonderful LDS love life up to my life at this point.
I can't say that it's always been dreamy or easy. In fact, in the beginning, there isn't much to talk about, except my awkward and embarassing situations.
I remember my first crush. For all intents and purposes we'll name him Alexander. It was 4th grade and he sat next to me. For the life of me I can't remember even why I liked him, but I guess that's just how crushes are when you're 9 years old. He was a boy. I was a girl. And he talked to me.
Then, the summer before 5th grade, Jeff moved in next door. I remember meeting his mom over the fence, and her telling me that she had a son my age. I was so excited to make friends with him! That summer we played together almost every day. Then, when school started, I started to realize that I had feelings for this boy. I don't know what it is about 10 year olds and crushes, but the way that we showed we liked each other was to push and trip each other and act the opposite of how people in "like" should really act. I did try to give him my nutter butter at lunch once to be nice one day, my excuse being that I only liked "ho ho's and ding dongs" ...he then commenced teasing me about the ho ho's and ding dongs. I kept the nutter butter.
I remember the day my little love affair with Jeff ended. He came over one day to play, and he came back to my room to get me. I freaked out and kicked him out because I was playing with barbies, and I was soooo embarassed that he would see me with them! No cool 5th graders played barbies anymore in my book. I then told him that I kicked him out and I couldn't play with him anymore because I wasn't supposed to play with boys. Yeah, that was a total lie. I was just trying to save face from the barbie incident. A 5th grader's rep is super important after all. Anyways, Jeff moved out that summer, and I never saw or heard from him again.
Eventually, 8th grade came along and a 7th grader was in a few of my classes named Champ. I thought Champ was the cutest boy around, and I immediately fell for him. The only super stinky part of it all, was Champ liked me back. He asked me about 3 times to be his girlfriend, and I had to tell him no, because I knew I wasn't supposed to date before I was 16. Champ took this as a sign of me not being interested, and I continued to secretly crush on him and like him from afar, even though he forgot about me and moved on. Look, but don't touch.
High school was a whole different ballgame. Well, not really. My love life was kind of boring then too. I was a workaholic. I went to the local college for my last two years of high school, and I worked full time. So most of the guys that I even knew either came from the seminary class that I attended, and my fast food job. There was one boy in particular, who is still in the picture to this day...
I remember the first time seeing Andrew. It was in my freshman seminary class. He was dressed in a white sweatshirt and jeans. I thought he was sooo cute. I didn't really know him though. He ran with the football jocks, and me with my not-as-cool elementary school friends. Ours was one of those relationships where when one of us liked the other, the other didn't like them back and vice versa. I like him my freshman and sophomore year, and then he liked me my senior year. I remember seeing him sneak of picture of me on his cell phone. He was trying to be nonchalant about it, but the snapping picture sound gave him away! It was then that I started being interested in him again, but the next week my best friend confessed to me that she had a huge crush one someone...Andrew. I pretended to be really happy for her. I even helped her asked him out, and lay flower petals in a little heart shape on his car one day. She would tell me about what was going on between them, and I would pretend to be happy for her. And I guess I was.
Then, graduation came, and a week later I left for University, while Andrew staying in our hometown. But we kept in touch, and whenever I would come home between semesters, we would date. At first, I really liked him, but the more we dated, the more I realized that he wasn't for me. He had a super controlling mom who wouldn't let him go on a mission, and I felt like every time we were together, I was the only one who would talk (I'm seriously not that talkative, he was just super quiet). But Andrew was always so consistent, so we would always date when it was convenient. He's always been there for me, and I would say one of my best friends. He came to my mission farewell, and even drove hours to my homecoming because my parents had moved.
I remember the day that I saw him again after 2 years. It was when he surprised me at my homecoming talk. He gave me a big hug, and I looked into his eyes....and realized he was in love with me. My whole family commented on it too. But honestly, I was such a weirdo when I got home from my mission, that I didn't know what to do, other than run in the opposite direction. Then, a few weeks ago Andrew called me up and asked if he could stay with me for a few days before he drove down to Utah. I was more than happy to see him again! Then, right before he came, his sister added me on Facebook and sent me this message:
"Hey there! I am Andrew's older sister. I know it seems weird and out of place (probably because it is), but I noticed your status just changed to single. And I am pretty excited that this happened right before Andrew is coming to visit you! So is it really true, about you being single? My sister and I would be so excited if you really were. Andrew will probably kill me if he knew I was writing this. I am sure he will have to make excuses for me when he visits you."
Yep. I didn't send a reply. Honestly, i'm not dumb. I know when a guy likes me, and somehow, someone always ends up telling me, even though I don't really like that person back. So anyways, Andrew shows up a few days later, and it is suuuper awkward at first. I had just broken up with my boyfriend, and I had to spend an entire weekend with someone else who was in love with me. Luckily, it went pretty well. We even talked about the message and he just rolled his eyes. And that's Andrew. Always there, always consistent, always kind, but never the one for me.
So that's my love life before college in a nutshell. I won't bore you with the details of my almost kiss with the boy that I was crazy about, but that I turned down (don't ask me why), and another boy I went out with before I was 16 that my sister ended up tattling on me for. All you need to know, is that I was super awkward and hadn't kissed a boy or ever had a boyfriend.
Anywho, it's past my bedtime so I must depart. But don't worry, the college years are coming up soon, and that's when things start to get really juicy....
Lady Momo
I can't say that it's always been dreamy or easy. In fact, in the beginning, there isn't much to talk about, except my awkward and embarassing situations.
I remember my first crush. For all intents and purposes we'll name him Alexander. It was 4th grade and he sat next to me. For the life of me I can't remember even why I liked him, but I guess that's just how crushes are when you're 9 years old. He was a boy. I was a girl. And he talked to me.
Then, the summer before 5th grade, Jeff moved in next door. I remember meeting his mom over the fence, and her telling me that she had a son my age. I was so excited to make friends with him! That summer we played together almost every day. Then, when school started, I started to realize that I had feelings for this boy. I don't know what it is about 10 year olds and crushes, but the way that we showed we liked each other was to push and trip each other and act the opposite of how people in "like" should really act. I did try to give him my nutter butter at lunch once to be nice one day, my excuse being that I only liked "ho ho's and ding dongs" ...he then commenced teasing me about the ho ho's and ding dongs. I kept the nutter butter.
I remember the day my little love affair with Jeff ended. He came over one day to play, and he came back to my room to get me. I freaked out and kicked him out because I was playing with barbies, and I was soooo embarassed that he would see me with them! No cool 5th graders played barbies anymore in my book. I then told him that I kicked him out and I couldn't play with him anymore because I wasn't supposed to play with boys. Yeah, that was a total lie. I was just trying to save face from the barbie incident. A 5th grader's rep is super important after all. Anyways, Jeff moved out that summer, and I never saw or heard from him again.
Eventually, 8th grade came along and a 7th grader was in a few of my classes named Champ. I thought Champ was the cutest boy around, and I immediately fell for him. The only super stinky part of it all, was Champ liked me back. He asked me about 3 times to be his girlfriend, and I had to tell him no, because I knew I wasn't supposed to date before I was 16. Champ took this as a sign of me not being interested, and I continued to secretly crush on him and like him from afar, even though he forgot about me and moved on. Look, but don't touch.
High school was a whole different ballgame. Well, not really. My love life was kind of boring then too. I was a workaholic. I went to the local college for my last two years of high school, and I worked full time. So most of the guys that I even knew either came from the seminary class that I attended, and my fast food job. There was one boy in particular, who is still in the picture to this day...
I remember the first time seeing Andrew. It was in my freshman seminary class. He was dressed in a white sweatshirt and jeans. I thought he was sooo cute. I didn't really know him though. He ran with the football jocks, and me with my not-as-cool elementary school friends. Ours was one of those relationships where when one of us liked the other, the other didn't like them back and vice versa. I like him my freshman and sophomore year, and then he liked me my senior year. I remember seeing him sneak of picture of me on his cell phone. He was trying to be nonchalant about it, but the snapping picture sound gave him away! It was then that I started being interested in him again, but the next week my best friend confessed to me that she had a huge crush one someone...Andrew. I pretended to be really happy for her. I even helped her asked him out, and lay flower petals in a little heart shape on his car one day. She would tell me about what was going on between them, and I would pretend to be happy for her. And I guess I was.
Then, graduation came, and a week later I left for University, while Andrew staying in our hometown. But we kept in touch, and whenever I would come home between semesters, we would date. At first, I really liked him, but the more we dated, the more I realized that he wasn't for me. He had a super controlling mom who wouldn't let him go on a mission, and I felt like every time we were together, I was the only one who would talk (I'm seriously not that talkative, he was just super quiet). But Andrew was always so consistent, so we would always date when it was convenient. He's always been there for me, and I would say one of my best friends. He came to my mission farewell, and even drove hours to my homecoming because my parents had moved.
I remember the day that I saw him again after 2 years. It was when he surprised me at my homecoming talk. He gave me a big hug, and I looked into his eyes....and realized he was in love with me. My whole family commented on it too. But honestly, I was such a weirdo when I got home from my mission, that I didn't know what to do, other than run in the opposite direction. Then, a few weeks ago Andrew called me up and asked if he could stay with me for a few days before he drove down to Utah. I was more than happy to see him again! Then, right before he came, his sister added me on Facebook and sent me this message:
"Hey there! I am Andrew's older sister. I know it seems weird and out of place (probably because it is), but I noticed your status just changed to single. And I am pretty excited that this happened right before Andrew is coming to visit you! So is it really true, about you being single? My sister and I would be so excited if you really were. Andrew will probably kill me if he knew I was writing this. I am sure he will have to make excuses for me when he visits you."
Yep. I didn't send a reply. Honestly, i'm not dumb. I know when a guy likes me, and somehow, someone always ends up telling me, even though I don't really like that person back. So anyways, Andrew shows up a few days later, and it is suuuper awkward at first. I had just broken up with my boyfriend, and I had to spend an entire weekend with someone else who was in love with me. Luckily, it went pretty well. We even talked about the message and he just rolled his eyes. And that's Andrew. Always there, always consistent, always kind, but never the one for me.
So that's my love life before college in a nutshell. I won't bore you with the details of my almost kiss with the boy that I was crazy about, but that I turned down (don't ask me why), and another boy I went out with before I was 16 that my sister ended up tattling on me for. All you need to know, is that I was super awkward and hadn't kissed a boy or ever had a boyfriend.
Anywho, it's past my bedtime so I must depart. But don't worry, the college years are coming up soon, and that's when things start to get really juicy....
Lady Momo
Hey y'all!
I can't admit that I created this blog to entertain, vent, or find my future love, because it isn't true. I didn't really create this blog for any purpose, and i'm not quite sure how i'm going to fill it up. Most of all, I hope to find people who are single and loving life like me, and who can appreciate the LDS dating scene for what it is.
I guess a little introduction to myself is in order. But first of all I must say that I want to keep this blog anonymous because honestly, it's more fun that way. I can also share those "special" details that I would otherwise never share with people I know reading this. So the most i'm going to confess is that I'm LDS (covenant child, yes), grew up in a state other than Utah, served a mission, attended university, and somehow ended up in Utah contrary to all my dreams and aspirations of moving to New York and working for a fashion magazine.
I'm in my early to mid 20's, and, obviously, have never found true love. But i've had a whole lot of crazy experiences trying to figure it out along the way, and I hope you'll love them as much as I do.
Lady Momo
I guess a little introduction to myself is in order. But first of all I must say that I want to keep this blog anonymous because honestly, it's more fun that way. I can also share those "special" details that I would otherwise never share with people I know reading this. So the most i'm going to confess is that I'm LDS (covenant child, yes), grew up in a state other than Utah, served a mission, attended university, and somehow ended up in Utah contrary to all my dreams and aspirations of moving to New York and working for a fashion magazine.
I'm in my early to mid 20's, and, obviously, have never found true love. But i've had a whole lot of crazy experiences trying to figure it out along the way, and I hope you'll love them as much as I do.
Lady Momo
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